Editor's Page

Surviving Semicon

There has been much hoopla about the cleaving of Semicon West 97 into two parts, expanding the event to a full week of exhibit-hall hustle and bustle in San Francisco and San Jose. SEMI has even hired the Queen of the Psychic Friends Network, Dionne Warwick, for its annual banquet, hoping to channel people's anxieties about the split personality of the show in a positive direction. In a spirit of service to our readership, I would like to offer some modest proposals for surviving the upcoming marathon.

Encourage the tirekickers. For those of you who work the booths on the show floor, few things are more irritating than realizing halfway through your finely tuned spiel that the person you're talking to has no purchasing authority whatsoever. This is especially true when you see one of your hottest prospects come into the booth moments after you start talking up Mr. or Ms. Nobody. Here's a suggestion: As soon as you realize the attendee you're pitching is a tirekicker, encourage him to go to your main competitor's booth by telling him about the cool souvenirs they give out after making their presentations.

Impress with initialisms. Since Semicon West is a great feast of new technology, prepare to impress your peers with ladlefuls of alphabet soup. You can rhapsodize about the ROI of your CE-marked CMP system, the AMHS of the WCVD tool being evaluated at I300I, and the low-ppb capabilities of a BCDS used at a U.S. IC manufacturer's CMOS fab. You might also want to try out a few new initialisms, like MP, short for "medium pizza," an emerging term for the 300-mm/12-inch wafer, or BESPC, pronounced "bes' pick," for "back-of-the-envelope statistical process control."

Wear rubber-soled footwear. The most common complaint echoing through the exhibit halls—after "traffic seems kind of light this year"—is "my feet are killing me." Wing tips with leather soles or high-heeled glamour shoes have been the podiatric downfall of many a showgoer. It's a little-known fact that cross-trainer sneakers go quite well with Italian-cut suits. Put some rubber between you and the carpet and smile.

Ignore Wall Street. Just close your eyes and make believe that a company's real worth is not determined by the opinions of overpaid analysts and a stock market that mirrors the true health of the economy about as well as a mirror reflects a vampire's image. OK, open your eyes and call your broker.

Consider smoking. You may have colleagues who say they smoke only when they're on business trips or at trade shows. They may be onto something. After all, nicotine can do wonders for your energy level. For even better results, try it with a double cappuccino and a chocolate croissant. Yes, smoking is hazardous to your health, but so is a week of nonstop Semicon.

These are only a handful of survival tips. If you have any others, send them via E-mail to my address below and we'll post them on our Web site.

Tom Cheyney

Editor

tom.cheyney@cancom.com

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